Nex thin ah herd,
Uh big sireen comn,
Whee whee whee.


An do you know
Wha duh Man wuz do n?


He wuz comn
Down dere caus
Ah wuz n duh ditch.


He drov up dere
An he stopt an got owt
An sed:


"Boy!"
"Yessah?"
"Say lissun, wha you do n parkt here?"
"Ahm not parkt, suh, ahm stuk."
"You got to talk bettur dan dat to me."


"So, wellsuh, you see
Mah wheels iz awl down n duh mud."


Say: "Ah cant do no bettur.
Say: "Wha can ah do?"


He sed: "Howd you get here?"
Ah sed: "Ah drove up dere."


"Wha happun to you
To git down n da ditch?"


Ah sed: "Ah seez uh FAT BLACK PIG
Runnun cross duh road.
Ah goton mah brakes to keep
From runnun over him
An ah curvd n dah ditch, SUR!
Is dat CLEAH?"


He sed: "Your goin wit me
Were goin for da Judge."


Duh Man take me n hiscar,
Carry me off to an Ol Butchur
Who wentto cuttn meat."


"HEY JUDGE."


Duh Judge say: "Yeauh?"


"AH GOTCHOO WON!"
(Talkn bowt Po Lightnin.)


He say: "Yeah, yeah,
Ah be witchoo n jussa minut."


He pulloff dat Bloody Aprun,
Dat Ol Hood he haton,
An he put him on uh cleen won,
An walkt owt.


"So dissiz him?" he aska.
"So wha happun?"
"He wuz parkt down dere
On de wrongsido da road....
Ah askt him wha he wuz dere for
An he came up wit sumodat fanndaddee."


"Well, boy, lissun.
You knows bettur dan dat, dontchoo?"


Ah sed: "Ah dun duh bess ah cood, suh."


"Well, why you parkt dere?"


Ah sed: "Ah see uh
BIG FAT BLACK PIG runnin
Cross duh road...
An ah gotton mah brakes
To keep frum runnin ovah him, suh.
An mah backn curvd n duh ditch."
An ah sed: "Izdat cleer?"


He sed: "Fihunnertdollas."


Ah sed: "Well, how, wha iz ah gonna do?"


He sed: "Lissun, Boy."
(Dat wuz duh Judge.)
He sed: "You ever bin up
Befor me befor?"


An ah sed: "Well...
Wha time do you gets up?"


Ha hun ha ha ha
Hun hun hun ah
O Boy, ah tell you.


So, if you ever go back
To Nort Carolina
An see uh Fat Black Pig
Runnin cross duh road...